Early in 2014 one of Titus's therapist asked if we were interested in ordering him a wheelchair. I automatically told her we didn't need it and that he was fine in his stroller. I didn't want a wheelchair. I think I was trying to convince myself he may never need one. In October 2014 she mentioned it again. This time I realized that if we ordered it, it would be 100% covered by insurance since we had met our deductible and out of pocket expenses. So, we ordered the wheelchair along with a stander for our house. The stander helps his bear weight in his legs.. In my mind, we would order the wheelchair and not really use it yet. We would have it but we wouldnt use it till absolutely necessary..
At the beginning of December 2014 T's wheelchair came. Bright orange of course, because he couldn't have any other color besides a Miami Dolphin color. (Oh and by the way, It now has Dolphin stickers as well) When the guy delivered it, we had to put T in and out of it so that it would be fitted perfectly for him. When I put him in it the first time, his whole demeanor changed. He started smiling, cooing, and looking around like crazy. I took him out to make adjustments, put him back in and the same thing happened. When the technician left, I put him in it to sit in for a while. HE LOVED IT! He was up higher, could see everyone, and loved watching his sisters run around him.
That night when Shane came home, he wanted T to take his new wheels for a spin. We were in awe at dinner. He was "talking" to us, smiling at people as they walked by, and loved being up at the table with us. Before in his stroller he would be sitting looking under the table, but not anymore. He is able to be a part of what is going on around him. Raygen and Harper love to push him around. We recently went to eat lunch with Raygen at school and as soon as she saw us, she ran over to push Titus to where we were sitting. She was telling her friends all about how her brother just got a new wheelchair! Pure sweetness!
The Lord has used this wheelchair to do big things in me. The wheelchair was something I feared. It was a world of unknown that I wasn't quite prepared to jump into. I had so many questions. How would we get around with it? How heavy was it? Would it fit in my van? More than anything though, I think I knew it would bring a very obvious visual to those who saw us that Titus for sure had special needs. When he sat in his stroller, no one would really be able to tell he had some unique qualities. But this, this was a big flashing red sign that our little guy was "different". So once again, my fear was holding something back that was an amazing gift. Once, I saw how happy he was in it, I didn't care one single bit. I will drag that ridiculously heavy thing anywhere we go to see him light up the way he does. The Lord started chipping away once again at some pride in my life. Who cares that we have a big flashing red sign blinking special needs? I am learning to embrace that sign and in so many ways learning to love it!
This chair that started of as a fear has turned into a huge PRAISE! Those of you who don't know, Titus's name in Uganda was Praise. It is now his middle name. He is now our Praise on wheels. I have been amazed to see how this wheelchair has opened doors for us to share the Lord's goodness. The other day we ran into a lady at the grocery store whose grandson was about to get his first wheelchair. He was almost 2. We talked for a while and I got to share with her about how I was scared of it at first but now what a huge blessing it is. I know this was a God ordained moment to remind me that He used all things together for good and His glory.
There are moments that I wish things could be a little easier. Moments that I wish it didn't take so long to get in and out of places. Moments that I plead with the Lord for my son's seizures to go away for good. Moments that I don't understand why he is only 2 yet has gone through and suffered more than most people I know. Then the Lord reminds me this life is not about me. This life is not about Titus. This life and everything else is about Jesus. So, I pray that He uses our circumstances, our weaknesses, our joy-filled moments, T's suffering, wheelchairs, our family, our daughters, and every other aspect of our life for His glory!!
So now when I look at that wheelchair, I no longer see fear, I see my sweet #tpraiseonwheels!!! What a blessing I never saw rolling my way!! :)
Oh and I thought you might enjoy some of this cuteness!